Music - Worst Remakes of All Time

This post was inspired when I was watching an episode of Classic/Current on VH1 Classic and saw the "current" Poison video. So here's a short list of what I think are some of the worst cover songs ever recorded:

Poison - We're An American Band (Original by Grand Funk Railroad)
This poor attempt to revive Poison's career merely showcases Brett Michael's weak vocals. I guess their thinking behind remaking this song was "we're from America, national pride is big during war time, and the song rocks". Too bad they couldn't match the raw energy of the original vocal. Brett has a hard time convincing me that he means what he's singing.

Postal Service - Against All Odds (Original by Phil Collins)
What in the hell was Ben Gibbard thinking? The main reasons this song was popular were that 1.) at this period anything that Phil recorded went to the top of the charts. 2.) It was the theme song to a popular movie. 3.) Phil has the power in his voice to give punch to a sappy ballad like this.

Sheryl Crow - Sweet Child O' Mine (Original by Guns 'n' Roses)
A power rock anthem redone by the queen of adult medium rock. Gone is the great intro guitar melody. Stick to covering Rod Stewart songs. They're more in your league.

Tori Amos - Smells Like Teen Spirit (Original by Nirvana)
Turns a rocking anthem of a disaffected generation into a weird piano ballad. This was done during a live show so she may have been trying to capitalize on the songs popularity at the time. Too bad it got recorded.

White Lion - Radar Love (Original by Golden Earring)
The music isn't that bad, but the wimpy vocal kills any chance this cover had of rocking you out. Is it any wonder this band only had hits with crybaby songs like Wait and When the Children Cry?

Styx - I am the Walrus (Original by the Beatles)
Yet another feeble attempt to revive a once great band by covering a well-known classic. Sounds like one of those hundreds of Beatles cover bands. Sad to say, the well feeding the river Styx has run dry.

Metallica - Turn the Page (Original by Bob Seger & the Silver Bullet Band)
Gone is the saxaphone in place of a lousy sounding guitar, the soft intimacy for typical distorted bar chords, and Bob Seger's soulful voice for James Hetfield's phony "err-ah" stylings.

Limp Bizkit - Behind Blue Eyes (Original by The Who)
Mostly just copies the original with a weaker vocal track. What qualifies it for this list is replacing the jamming bridge with the same music from the rest of the song overlayed with a Speak-and-Spell toy mumbling something incoherent.

Lenny Kravitz - American Woman (Original by the Guess Who)
You could tell this one would suck as soon as you heard this poseur's grunt. No guitar melodies to ride into the intro with, he had to lower the key, and the beat has become very lazy. Not that I would expect more from a man who treats his music like a fashion accessory.


This post wouldn't be complete without mentioning Tom Jones (Prince's Kiss)and Pat Boone (In a Metal Mood album). I'm pretty sure they knew their ideas were absurd before they went through with them, but they don't exactly strike me as people in touch with reality. So the question of intentional parody is left open.

Music - Indie Recommended List

I'm creating a permanent listing of indie songs I think are worth checking out. Also, there are links to free legal downloads of them.


Postal Service - Such Great Heights - The District Sleeps Alone Tonight

The Shins - So Says I - Kissing the Lipless - Know Your Onion

Death Cab for Cutie - For What Reason - Title & Registration

The Sun - Lost at Home

The Sights - Circus

Stars - Ageless Beauty

Rouge Wave - Publish My Love

Kasabian - Club Foot (Live)

Pinback - Fortress

Rilo Kiley - Science vs. Romance - The Execution of All Things

Mates of State - Fraud in the 80's

The Feeling - Sewn